Thursday, June 01, 2017

# losing a loved one # personal

3 Things You'll Learn Through Losing A Loved One


It’s not exactly something that’s pleasant to think about, but we’re all going to die. Nothing in existence is static, and just as countless people start their lives every day, countless others are leaving this world all the time. No one wants to have to cope with the death of a loved one, but it’s something we’ll all go through. Here are three things you’ll learn in the process…

Source: Pixabay
Everyone Handles It Differently
Hearing that someone dear to you has died, whether you were expecting it or not, is one of the most painful things anyone can go through. Even if you have siblings who have gone through the exact same experience as you, when your loved one passes away, you’re going to notice some major differences in the way you take it. Some people will throw themselves into practicalities, breaking the news to everyone, receiving condolences, and visiting sites like AboutTheFuneral.com. Others will be so stricken with grief that they’ll find it difficult to get out of bed. The important thing is not to think of anyone as being callous or detached, or that anyone’s taking too long to recover from the loss. The grieving process is different for everyone, and there’s nothing we can do about it.
It’s Okay to be Vulnerable
Following the death of a loved one, many people will hear this phrase: “Don’t cry. Be strong for your family”. Obviously, you don’t want to make the situation harder for your remaining loved ones than it already is. With this attitude, many people will bottle everything up, pretend that they’re feeling fine, and avoid any kind of emotional outpouring as best as they can. Though this reaction is understandable, and often, through its selflessness, quite admirable, it’s not healthy in the slightest! Straining yourself to bottle up your depression, anxiety, and pain in general, will only make the grieving process harder. On the other hand, if you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you’ll be inviting others around you who are going through the same thing to be vulnerable as well. Knowing that you won’t see the person you’ve lost again in this life can be isolating enough. Don’t make your loneliness even worse by shutting down and not talking to people about the way you’re feeling.
Memories Are to Be Cherished, Not Shut Off
Another common phenomenon that bereaved people will go through is wanting to forget all about the person they lost. In the immediate aftermath, it will seem that everywhere you go, the smallest of things will remind you of your loved one. This, in turn will bring up memories of the circumstances of their death, the moment you got the terrible news, and all the pain you went through, and are still going through. Try to remember that the only reason you’re able to feel so horrible is that you lost a person who made you feel loved and wonderful for much of your life. Try to keep your attention focussed on those warm, happy memories, not the painful, dark ones.


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