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Rants and Raves of a Bum

1) NOT KISSING FIRST
Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the
erogenous zones makes herfeel like you're paying by
the hour and trying to get your money's worth by
cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is
the Ultimate form of foreplay.

2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR
Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this.
Well, there's a difference between being erotic and
blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles
on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.

3) NOT SHAVING
You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your
chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner's
face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to
side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.

4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST
Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for
ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke,
caress, and smooth them.

5) BITING HER NIPPLES
Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp
down like they're trying to deflate her body via her
breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't
stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently.
Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending
they're a dogie toy isn't.

6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES
Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples
between finger and thumb like you're trying to find a
radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole
breasts, not just the exclamation points.

7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY
A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs:
Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel.
There are vast areas of her body which you've ignored
far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown
Vagina. So start paying them some attention.

8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED
Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can
result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you're
going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the
damn things off.

9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT
Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore
it, you store it.

10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS
Direct pressure is very
unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side
of the clitoris.

11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK Women, unlike men, don't pick
up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back
to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not
there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.

12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY
Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look
when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her
head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy.

13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY

Stroking her gently through her panties can be very

sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and

yanking it back and forth is not.

14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA

Although most men can find the clitoris without maps,

they still believe that the vagina is where it's all

at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're

trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is

okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it can

hurt - so don't get carried away. It's best to pay

more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her

vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her

and see if she likes it.

15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY

You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing

massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips

are okay; elbows and knees are not.

16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY

Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at

least made some move toward getting your stuff off,

even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons.

17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST

A man in socks and underpants is a at his worst. Lose

the socks first.

18) GOING TOO FAST

When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the

worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial

power tool -she'll soon feel like an assembly-line

worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up

slowly, with clean, straight, regular thrusts.

19) GOING TOO HARD

If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her

thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of

horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.

20) COMING TOO SOON

Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you

see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a

backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.

21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH

It may appear to you that humping for an hour without

climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it's

more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy

some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to

hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man

22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME
You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make
noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask

23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY
Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get
your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently
rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.

24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN
Men persist in doing this until she's
eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very
swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It's
about three steps from being dragged to a cave by
their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use
yours; try talking seductively to her.

25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX
Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not
everybody likes it. When she's performing oral sex,
warn her before you come so she can do what's
necessary.

26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO (Oral Stimulation of the
penis)
Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during
fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head.

27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES
In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men
ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more
laundry to do.

28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES
Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting
while she does all the hard work is not. Caress her
gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much like
the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.

29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX & PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT
This is how men earn a reputation for not being able
to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask
her first. And don't think that being drunk is an
excuse.

30) TAKING PICTURES
When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll
hear the words"__to show my buddies." At least let her
have custody of them.

31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH
Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her
back to pouring honey on her and licking it off.
Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy
props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.

32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS
There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a
belching contest.

33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES
If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but
unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too
ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner
with snapped hamstrings.

34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE
Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for
men because they have a prostate. Women don't.

35) GIVING LOVE BITES
It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on
the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No
woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty
scarves for weeks on end.

36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS
Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a
megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.

37) TALKING DIRTY
It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor
calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll
let you know

38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES
You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you
get it right, and she might even do the same for you.

39) SQUASHING HER
Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on
her a bit too heavily, she will turn blue.

40) THANKING HER
Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your
bedroom is not a soup kitchen.

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The most destructive habit..............................Worry
The greatest Joy.............................................Giving
The greatest loss......................Loss of self-respect


The most satisfying work....................Helping others
The ugliest personality trait....................Selfishness
The most endangered species........Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource....................Our youth
The greatest "shot in the arm"...........Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome......................Fear


The most effective sleeping pill.........Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease................Excuses
The most powerful force in life..........................Love

The most dangerous pariah......................A gossiper
The world's most incredible computer.......The brain
The worst thing to be without......................... Hope


The deadliest weapon.............................The tongue
The two most power-filled words................."I Can"
The greatest asset.........................................Faith


The most worthless emotion......................Self-pity
The most beautiful attire................................SMILE!
The most prized possession....................... Integrity


The most powerful channel of communication.......Prayer
The most contagious spirit....................Enthusiasm





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Guess I got the attention of some SB players.. lolz. Thanks for your encouraging messages.. haha. D ko na kayo kelangan patulan because with the way you post, alam ko na kung anung klase kayong mga tao..

I came home around 8am from work a while ago. I was so sleepy today because I didnt get much sleep yesterday. Sobrang kakaantok sa training ksi our team was divided into two class. Hmmm, puro Chat lng inatupag namin dun. (hehe) We were provided with our own AOL accounts which we can also use it at home. Dial-Up nga lang at after 2 months pa magagamit. I remembered the times when I was still using AOL accounts way back 2002 (mIRC days) I saw an old friend sa Robinsons Summit nun pauwe na kami. weee. la lang. I don't have much too say for now and I still have to sleep. I will be going to Heritage Hotel after my shift para kumita daw ng pera sabi ng nanay ko.. (lolz)
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Skyblade Item Mall Sale

hmmm, This is what we call a Phoenix Armor Package (left picture)which you can buy through the Item Mall of Skyblade for P582.00. Arg. quite expensive right? lolz. They are having Item Mall Sale today until June 2 (i guess..) I've been browsing for Hot Deals and I really want this package since my character is only wearing Dragon Armor Set. (lamer..) But hopefully, when we get our pay by June 15. I will be able to purchase Phoenix Armor Set. WEEEEEEEE! So I guess, i wont be needing this anymore and i would just go for the Pegasus Armor Package. which costs P430.35 so if i will be buying this, I have to buy 9 of this package because we have 9 armors. (Imagine how much will I be wasting for this one? haha. NO WAY!) But, I do have other items which I've been eyeing on for quite a while. harhar, I will be buying those items as soon as i get my pay and after I pay my debts with my mom.. WAAA!

e-Telecare Global Solutions

I'm already on my Day 7 at e-Telecare and we have started our Client Specific Training. I started last May 22 and was offered the TSR position last May 16. I guess, I was lucky because I never thought I would be hired by the company. Here's what happened, I applied online through Jobstreet and then I got a call from e-Telecare around 1st week of May and was scheduled for an exam. I wasn't able to go since I'm not feeling well. The next week, I was scheduled for an interview at 3i (behind Philam Life Bldg), unfortunately I didn't pass. (haha) Since it was still early at that time, I decided to go at e-Telecare because a friend of mine was scheduled for a final interview at HSBC Data Bank which is in PBCom Tower. So, I just took the exam which is not my schedule. We were 30-40.. I'm not sure of it. Well, EXAM WAS SOOO HARD! especially the IT and Network Exam. grrh! so from 30-40, only 8 people passed (including me.. hurray!) after that I was scheduled for another interview and then call simulation and, lastly the JOB OFFER! (hehe) but we still had another interview which they call OPs Validation in which OMs were the ones who interviewed us. Hmmm, last we had our Orientation and Foundation Skills Training. It was supposedly a 10-day training but it was reduced to 3 days for the Foundation Skills Trng.. (huhuhu) It already our DAY 2 of our Client Specs later. Our account is AOL and we are Wave 9. I just hope I passed the training but anyway we still have 4weeks so I guess we can still enjoy.. I actually can't wait for the pay day because I miss eating at fastfood chains and watching movies. ( I HAVEN'T WATCHED The Da Vinci Code, MI: 3 and X-Men! GRRH!)
My boyfriend will be starting his work at Convergys in June 12. SAME BLDG! weee. We will be able to see each other more often now..
Hmm, that's all for now.. I still need to get some sleep.. (my shift starts at 10pm. yey!)
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** la lang.. just want to share this article that i got through my e-mail..

     to all the singles and taken out there, this one's for you.. hehehe. Image **

 

Love and Contentment

 

 Somebody once told me that "Finding the right person

is very hard and very

 wrong.....it is best to be the right person for the

 one you love and start

 from there...

 you'll always end up disappointed when you set

 standards

 and define a "right person" for you... and don't

 rush things...

 coz somewhere somehow God is preparing somebody for

 you."



 You can never be perfect...the person you love can

 never be perfect...but both of you can be perfect

 through love and prayers, and your love can be

 perfect through the both of

 you. But, no relationship

 is complete without God... that's why we have

 marriage..it's a bond not only between you and your

 loved one....but also with God.



 Our relationships fail not because (s)he's not the

 right person....it's because we expected to! o much

 and we decided on our

 own... let God do the work... you may call it

 waiting time... but while you

 are

 waiting...pray. Let God guide you always... He knows

 better. No, He knows best.



 Love is not what you think it is.... Sometimes we

 mistakenly feel that our first relationship will be

 our last. Because we are overwhelmed with joy and

 romance, we forget to learn the meaning of true

 love.

 Some are saying that love is unselfish, blind,

 unconditional or simply denying oneself for the sake

 of someone very important in our life.



 Others are saying love is immortal and can never be

 defined. When we think we're in love the first thing

 we almost wanted the whole world to know is that our

 love for someone very

 special can never be taken away from us. We say this

 phrase "You are the

 most wonderful gift from GOD I have ever received... "



 After a terrible fight or sometimes even a

 petty quarrel we then say "You are the biggest

 mistake I've ever made for

 my entire life!!". Now, how do you say and spell the

 word L-O-V-E? Are you

 really deeply into it?



 Nobody can tell what love really is until experience

 speaks and whispers right into our ears. Most of the

 time, these love promises like "Forever, Till Death

 do us apart, etc."

 would end up "Never" and "We

 should part ways, I'm no longer happy with you! My

 love for you is DEAD!!!". Many times we thought

 after having committed to

 someone and your trust to one another freezes down

 to zero degree "S/He

 ain't the right one. I should probably wait for the

 right one to come." But

 the big question anyone could not answer is

 "Is she/he the right one?" and "When is the right

 time?" That made us stick to whom we are with. Will

 you always be waiting

 for the right person to come and the right time to

 commit? A big YES is the

 answer.



 Don't be in! a hurry to get into a relationship

 because you can never find

 love if you insist that you are already into it. Try

 to find time to really

 understand your real feelings, to know who you

 really are, and what you

 really want in a relationship. You're right,

 there is no such thing as a perfect relationship,

 but

 there's a compatible partnership that goes along

 with it. If you already knew that you're too big to

 fit into a small sized

 t-shirt, don't give it a try.

 You'll probably break it and pay for the damages you

 have made. If you knew

 and felt that the relationship will not last, don't

 go deeper into it.

 You'll just suffer the consequences and live like

 hell the rest of your

 life.



 It's really hard to say goodbye though, but you

 can't make it any better by

 just pretending you still have the same feelings.

 Try to let go and give

 yourself a chance to live life to the fullest. Give

 yourself a chance to

 grow and give your heart a much needed attention.

 Then you will find that

 you have made the right decision and you made it all

 by yourself. More

 frequently than not, we all act in a hypocritical

 manner for some reason.



 We call it love when we can't leave someone and see

 them crying as we try

 to let go. We are wrong, its just pity. We call it

 love when we're too

 attached and think that losing the one we love will

 somehow make us weak

 and unable to face the storms of life. We

 misunderstood, its just that

 we're too much dependent to them. We call it love

 when we give our whole

 life to them, the wholeness of us and imagined that

 if they leave no one

 would accept us and our past. We are mistaken, its

 just insecurity. But no

 matter what the definition is, the truth still

 remains that love isn't

 something you can buy nor beg. It is real and

 existing. You can't touch it

 but you can feel it in your heart. You can't find

 it, but it ! will knock

 before you when you least expect it to come. It can

 make you the happiest

 soul in heaven, but don't forget that it also can

 make you the most

 miserable person in

 the whole galaxy.




 P.S.

 "Contentment is not the fulfilment of what you want,

 it is the realization

 of how much you already have."

 

Love is the hardest thing in the world to explain.

 It's not something you learn in school. But if you

 haven't learned the meaning of love, you really

haven't learned anything.

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HE: can I buy you a drink?

SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money



HE: I'm a photographer i've been looking for a face likeyours!

SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon .i've been looking for a face like yours!!!



HE: Hi! Didn't we go on a date once? or was it twice?

SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake

twice!!!



HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?

SHE: I must've been given your share!!!



HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?

SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!!



HE: Your face must turn a few heads!

SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs!!!



HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!

SHE: Okay, get out!!!



HE: I think I could make you very happy

SHE: Why? Are you leaving?



HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?

SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!



HE: Can I have your name?

SHE: Why, don't you already have one?



HE: Shall we go and see a film?

SHE: I've already seen it!!!



HE: Where have you been all my life?

SHE: Hiding from you.



HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?

SHE: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.



HE: Is this seat empty?

SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.



HE: So, what do you do for a living?

SHE: I'm a female impersonator.



HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?

SHE: Do not enter.



HE: Your body is like a temple.

SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.



HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.

SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die

laughing.



HE: Where have you been all my life?

SHE: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your

wildest dreams
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Guys can never imagine what goes on in the mind of a woman in love especially in the early part of a relationship when it's in the getting-to-know-you stage. Some might want to call it infatuation rather than actually falling in love.

Most women experience the same kind of madness at this stage. There's a feeling of wanting to see him, of wanting to
be with him and talk to him, and do just anything with him every minute of the day.
But despite this awful longing she would also like to hold back a little so it wouldn't be too obvious to the guy.
She wouldn't want it to appear that she is head over heels, as in patay na patay.
They say that Filipinos have become westernized but when it comes to courtship, our men would still want to
make the first move.

Perhaps this is the reason why some women appear to be playing hard to get. It is because men would react differently when the woman shows a little motive or gives in at the first sign that he likes her. In a way, this has trained women to act the way they do.

Although our society has changed in so many ways, most men still love to do the chasing.
Here's a common scenario: He's an officemate, she sees him from afar, and she knows they will bump into each other. Her
heart starts to beat faster and she fixes her hair with her fingers making sure every strand is in place. She runs her hand thru her clothes making a quick check if everything is in place. And once she's face to face with him she tries to greet him as
though he were just one of the guys, controlling the pitch of her voice so she doesn't sound so excited. But deep inside he! r heart is screaming "God! He's so cute!" <--ahem ahem ahem.. bato bato sa langit, ang tamaan, kawawa naman.. :p~~

A woman's thoughts are filled with the man she fancies. She sees him everywhere and in anything she does.
She goes to a cyber café and notices a guy wearing exactly the same shirt as that of her man and she tells herself he looks better in them. In the parking lot, she spots a car that's somewhat similar to his and first thing she does is take a look at the plate number, the heck it there are dozens of the same model and color! It could be him!

From the railing of a mall she sees a bald man walking to the opposite direction and she follows him only to find out it
wasn't her bald sweety after all. And again, what the heck if there are a hundred shaved heads strolling the mall! It could be him!

And yes, text! Text has been a part of our daily existence and it has bridged the distance between people just like what the popular slogan says "connecting people".

Take a look at this: It's ten in the morning and he still hasn't sent her a good morning text. She's about to send him one but she stops and pauses for a while before hitting that send button. It's been two days that she was the first to send him a message so she tries to wait for a while.

Hours pass by and still no text from him. Her friends are wondering why she seems to be in a cranky mood and
she tells them she's not feeling well. All of a sudden she hears a beep and alleluia! It's him! Her mood changes abruptly and she laughs at the corniest joke. And instead of sending him another forwarded message, she sends him a "hi! wazzup?" hoping to start a conversation. Five minutes pass and she gets no reply.

She's back in her cranky mood.
Sometimes I wonder if men go thru the same maddening feeling and if the guys are sensitive enough to be aware of it no matter how discreet we try to hide our feelings. Falling in love gives a natural high that makes us look
and feel pretty from the moment we open our eyes.
And despite the pain and frustration that come with it, we're always more than willing to give it another try. Most of the time, we don't even need to make a decision of loving again, it just happens! .

So guys, dont u dare play with our feelings
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She's the one you call when you're bored because she makes you laugh. She's the one you talk to when you're feeling down because she's willing to lend an ear and be a friend. She's not the one you call when you need a date to your company's Christmas party, or to go dancing with on a Saturday night. She's the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find "The One." You know, the one who you keep around in the meantime. She's not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don't look at her as a "real" woman either. She's not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in that light. She's too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by. She's too understanding, too comfortable - she doesn't make you feel nervous or excited the way a "real" woman does. But she's cool, and nice, and funny, and attractive enough that when you're lonely or horny and need intimate female companionship, she'll do just fine. You don't have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you don't have any facades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve. You're not trying to get anything of substance out of her. She's not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted to you, and that she'll give you the intimacy you need. And you know you don't have to explain yourself or the situation, that she'll be able to cope with the fact that this isn't the beginning of a relationship or that there's any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for her. It won't bother her that you'll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with the woman you've been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. She'll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell her how the date went. She's just so cool . . . why can't all women be like that?! But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don't because to you, the situation between the two of you isn't important enough to merit any real thought), you know that it's really not fair. You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don't think she's good enough to spend any real time with. Sure, it's mostly her fault, because she doesn't have to give in to your needs - she could play the hard-to-get bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn't pull it off. Maybe she's too short, or a little overweight, or has a big birthmark on her forehead, or works at Taco Bell. Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman. So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman. You'll joke to her that she should be the best man at your wedding, and she'll laugh and make a joke about a smelly rental tux. She doesn't captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile. Mainly she blends in with the crowd. She's safe. She doesn't want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room.



But she wants to turn someone's head. She wants to be special to someone, too. We all do. She has feelings. She has a heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger and better heart than any woman you've ever known because she's had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway. She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you've given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is.



Anyway, yeah. I'm a Meantime Girl. Been one more times than I care to admit. I don't know the reason, really, and at this point I don't even care. I just want to let every guy know who's ever had the good fortune to have a Meantime Girl that we may be a lot of fun, but we cry too. A lot. And someday we won't be around.
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my boyfriend and I just parted an hour ago. Im still sleepy.. arg. Image just spent my weekend watching naruto movie 2, episodes 176-182 and playing Skyblade for 9 hours just to level up my character. *groans* Image im already jobless for a month.. and still have no plans of applying. /heh. just tried passing my resume through Jobstreet.  *yawn*
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TRY THESE PICK-UP LINES.....IT'S BEEN PROVEN BY 100 INJURED MEN & WOMEN:



Nice legs...what time do they open?
Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one
talking to you.
I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher:
have you seen one?
I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride
you all day long for a quarter.
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a
light switch away.
I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.
I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for
that thing you do with your tongue.
(Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Sherry Titsbottom?
Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom
floor.
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we
could do it in public.
Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza? Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???
Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.
I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
(Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.
My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.


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** just got this one through an e-mail from my one of my friends.. arg. i just woke up and im not in the mood for job hunting today.  Image maybe i will try my luck tomorrow.. **



 HOW TO STAY YOUNG


1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.

Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.



2. Keep only cheerful friends.

The grouches pull you down. (keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches;)




3. Keep learning:

Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,

whatever. Never let the brain get idle.


"An idle mind is the devil's workshop."


And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!



4. Enjoy the simple things.




5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER.




6. The tears happen:


Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. LIVE while you are alive.



7. Surround yourself with what you love:


Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.

Your home is your refuge.




8. Cherish your health:


If it is good, preserve it.


If it is unstable, improve it.

If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.



9. Don't take guilt trips.

Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.




10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.




Image


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1 ) 94% of men lie about their penis size.

According to condom manufacturers, only 6% of

men use extra large condoms.



2) The average man is 5 inches long when erect

(no matter what you have heard ladies, that's the

truth).



3) 80% of American men are circumsized. Even

though Pediatrics say it is not necessary.



4) No matter what all the ads say, nothing can

make your penis grow but time (most men reach

the end of their growth by the early 20's)



5) There is no correlation between penis size and

shoe size, hand size, or nose size.



6) Blue balls does exist! It's technically

called "prostatic congestion."



7) Only 16% of men shave their privates.



+Some stuff on the ladies+

------------------------------



1) Only 9% of women around the globe consider

themselves "attractive" (20% of British women

do).

43% of women use the term "natural", 24% say

they have "average" looks, 8% prefer the

term "feminine", 7% say they are "good looking",

and 7% say they are "cute", and finally only 2% of

women say they are "sexy".



2) An estimated 85% of women wear the wrong

size bra.

3) 60% of women have had breast implants.

4) 75% of women dont like oral sex

5) 95% of women shave their privates.



+Both+

--------------------------------

1) Masturbation is healthy for both men and

women.



2) 70% of highschoolers have had sex before

they have graduated. 27% loose their virginity

senior

prom night. Only 3% wait until marriage.



3) 95% of men would have sex with a girl after 1

month of dating. Only 10% of women feel this way.



+5 Reasons Why Sex is Good+

---------------------------------------------

1) It is a good workout. Sex burns about 150

calories every half an hour of it. It will lower your

cholesterol and improve breathing circulation.



2) You won't get sick. According to research if

you have sex 1-2 times a week you are less likely

to

get sick.



3) You'll feel happier. You will feel a greater sense

of well-being. Women who have more sex were

clinically proven to be less depressed than women

who dont have sex.



4) Makes you look better - [ problem is, ugly people

don`t get any ]. Sex releases hormones in your

which make your skin and hair softer and shinier

and tone your physique.



5) (The best reason) You will live longer. Studies

prove that sex makes you live longer. Men who

had sex 1-2 times a week had half the death rate

as those who did not indulge themselves at least

once a month. It also makes you look younger. If

you have sex 3 times a week you may look up to

10 years younger than you really are.



Did You Know?

----------------------------------------

1) Having sex 3 times a week for 1 year adds up

to running 75 miles!!!!
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POST AS OF : Monday, March 20


hmmm.. 5th week of our phone labs.. Image this week was a one helluva week. im just so frustrated right now and i' having a hard time coping up with the situation. i just hate my life.. and i definitely HATE oh, not HATE but i ABHOR Image this bitch.. by the name of.. LOLS. no need to post her name here. if only i can have my hands on her, i will definitely strangle her and get the air of out of body.. PARA MABURA NA SYA SA MUNDO! Image hehehe. i've never been this mad in my entire life. kainis! to think i still have another problem.. grrhh! tama na nga nagiinit n nmn ulo ko eh.. hehe. i really get pissed when i remember that bitch.

i've heard that there might be some chances that our phone labs would be extended.. AGAIN!
hehehe. we've verified it with one of trainers and he said that we need to have at least 6 CSAT
in order for us to graduate and go to production. also, our grades for phonelab, client spec was already posted. well, i got good grades.. thank goodness. Image except with my attendance. har har har! i really have to do my best in phonelabs so that i can still pass or else i'll be looking for my 4th call center na.. hahaha. hmm what else, i got my salary last 21st. like what i expected.. MALIIT sha.. ksi i had lots of absences.. kakainis. Image need to save some money para umabot to by next pay day.. i hope our schedule will be changed! bwisit ksi un sched namin 2 am to 11 am so kelangan ko lagi magtaxi on the way work.. arggghhh. Image asar!


i'm sleepy right now.. *yawn* Image but i'm so addicted to neopets lately.. haha. Image ubos n nga money ko dun e "Neopoints" money term sa neopets. kakaloka tlga. hehehe. lagi 6 to 7 hours lang sleep ko kaya laging sabog pag pumapasok ako.. hehehe. anyway, wala munang gimik for the next few days.. wala kasing pera.. Image hehehe. la lang. til my next blog na lang. ciao. Image

POST AS OF: Saturday, March 25


**one of my problems was resolved na.. yehey! Image news about extending our phone labs.. CONFIRMED! Image after my shift this morning, i went to a cafe and checked my account in Skyblade. Well, I found out that all of my loots were stolen and armors/weapons were the only things that was left.. THAT BIATCH! Image also, i've used the pachun tokens that was left on my account.. i bought three sets of medals since item mall is on sale.. wee. Image i also bought a drop/exp set so that i can level up my Ice Character and will be able to wear my Black Angel weapon.. Image what else.. hmmm i would like to check my High Priestess in Ragnarok.. I've heard there is a new NPC wherein you can play and GAMBLE.. i will be using the money that I've earned from the loots and cards that I've got and try to win OCAs. hehehe. Image i still dont have any sleep as of the moment.. and i will be looking forward for it later when i go home.. /gg. Image


**QUOTE FOR THE WEEK**

9 Hardest Time of your Life

1.Being questioned when you yourself dont understand.
2. Pretending to be innocent of what you know about
3. Trying to forget something you know you never will.
4. Admitting you where wrong after you have been so insistent that you were right.
5. Debating with yourself
6. Accepting the fact that some things are not meant to be.
7. Trying to understand when you just can't
8. Realizing that you have been tricked after you've given your whole trust
9. Parting and letting go of someone you've loved all your life. Image

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omg.. Image our phone labs was extended. well, it was good news for me since I was absent last week for a couple of days.. Image but there was also bad news on the other hand.. Image i was given a warning with regards to my absences.. (such a bad ass.. Image) well, i need to improve by the end of the week which i think i am.. hehe.  last sunday, me and my bf watched "The Dark" which was pretty creepy.. there was even this girl who shouts every time there was a scary scene..  haha. well, i did hide my face from time to time.. Image also, I've heard that Ragnarok is 5x exp for 1 week and what happened was i had my character lvl 36 high acolyte level up and take advantage of the 5x.. hmmm pina-bot ko sya.. haha. last time ive heard my character is already a high priestess level 78 job 46.. hurray! pede na magsuot char ko ng elven!  Image sana my HP will be able to harvest lots of eluniums /gg para i can buy a +7 monk hat or upgrade some of the equipments.. (all of my items are +7 plang.. too bad!)  tagal tagal pa yun mag-99. well,im also planning na ipa-bot un sa bf ko.. 99 vit knight..  pede ko ipa-Lord Knight un kaso ala gamit kya im still thinking abt it pa.. oh the other week ata we've watched "Nasaan si Francis?" well, its a very simple story in my opinion.. ksi nasa isang location lng sha peru when it comes to punchlines.. ok sha sobrang nakakatawa.. kulit ng role ni rico blanco and kevin roy.. astegg!! Image hmm i got our salary bonus for 6k at eto ubos na ang pera ko.. i just hope may matira pa sa sahod ko ksi we badly needed some money by the 21st.. Image anyway, i have to go for now.. need to eat my brunch and go to sleep na.. still got work at 2am.. Image
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"The face can speak of a thousand emotions but it can easily mask what the heart truly feels. don't be fooled.. for the happiest face may be masking the most hurting heart.."


- got that text from a friend of mine.. and i totally agree to it because that is what i am right now.. totoo talaga un hindi laging masaya ka.. kasi sometimes u also have to experience pain or loneliness.. arggh. hirap talaga pag bilog ang mundo. minsan nasa ibabaw ka, minsan nasa baba ka.. like anybody will say.. "that's life" well, on my part.. life sucks... Image


===============================================================


I - 6 Cycle Mind


Ay wag naman

Alisin ang

Nag-iisang panaginip


Na ika’y magbabalik

Nagsasamang masaya

At walang pagkukulang


At ngayong wala ka na

Hindi alam kung saan magsisimula

Ang ngayon, bukas, kailanman nag-iba

Wala bang bukas


Ay bahala na

Ang tanging naririnig

Wala ka bang ibang masabi


Huwag ka nang mag-alala

Iniintindi ko

Ang lungkot na ginawa mo


At ngayong wala ka na

Hindi alam kung saan magsisimula

Ang ngayon, bukas, kailanman nag-iba

Wala bang bukas


At ngayong wala ka na

Hindi alam kung saan magsisimula

Ang ngayon, bukas, kailanman nag-iba


At ngayong wala ka na

Hindi alam kung saan magsisimula

Ang ngayon, bukas, kailanman nag-iba

Wala bang bukas


Paulit-ulit mananatili

Pag gising ko'y wala pa rin

Hindi maamin

Ilang dalanging...

Wala ka

Wala ka

Wala na


At ngayong wala ka na

Hindi alam kung saan magsisimula

Ang ngayon, bukas, kailanman nag-iba

Wala bang bukas


ImageImageImage ImageImageImage ImageImageImage ImageImageImage


 

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well its almost an hour since i got home.. i just ate my breakfast and now i'm busy downloading mp3s.. hehe. Image  day 7 of our phone lab was rough.. got a lot of issues which i had a hard time resolving it.. arggh. Image last night was also our cdaq which stands for Communication Development Assessment Queue.. not sure if i got it correct.. anyway, before i took cdaq i really don't know why i was trembling so bad that i can't talk straight... haha. Image i was having difficulty in making myself calm and confident with it.. well why wouldn't i trembling when we were not informed about it. damn! Image i messed up my cdaq to make it short.. haha. nawalan na ako ng time to plan sa gagawin ko.. kainis tlga un. by the way,  i got my company id na! yey! Image


pangit nun kuha.. pangit na nga ako, pangit pa ng kuha.. malas talaga. sakit na ng ulo ko.. i've been having sleep problems for 2 days na since umuwi na un  bf ko sa kanila.. hehe. me connection ba un? Image siguro dahil i was so attached to the book that i've been reading.. harry potter ba naman e.. hehehe. Image hay.. got to get some sleep.. me pasok pa mya.. arggh.. la na pla ako friendster.. haha. la lang. wala lang makwento.. Image

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