The Signals Of Attraction, Real And Imagined

by - 6/11/2018 04:30:00 AM

Ladies, stop me if you've heard this one before. There's this guy. A friend. You see him at work or in class or at the gym sometimes, and you talk to him. You're friendly, you smile and you laugh at his jokes. He's a nice guy and you like him--but you don't like him. Except he thinks you do, so one day out of the blue he asks you out, and you have the awkward pleasure of turning him down and explaining that you only think of him as a friend. And then your friendship is uncomfortable forever afterward.

Poor guys. We get confused sometimes. We want you to like us so much that we see things that aren't there. You're just being nice but we convince ourselves that you're into us. I saw an article this past weekend on that addressed this very issue. The authors give readers a list of (mostly) subtle behaviors women do that indicate attraction. They also list behaviors that don't indicate attraction at all, but men commonly misinterpret them as such. That list follows--have a look and tell me if you agree. 

She backs her ass up into you while dancing. 
All this means is that she's had about eight Red Bull and vodkas and the DJ just put on some Lil Jon.

She invites you to brunch. 

A rule of thumb: Eggs and coffee never lead to the bedroom. Brunch after sex, yes; brunch before sex, never.

She calls you hysterically crying. 

You think by getting intimate with her feelings, she's showing she wants to be intimate in other ways. Reality: She'd never let on to a guy she wants to sleep with that she's teetering on the edge of sanity.

She compliments you on your sweet new shoes or shades. 

She's not noticing you, she's noticing new pretty, shiny, fashion-y things. 

She asks you for sex advice. 

She's just trying to find out what that other guy she's going to blow enjoys.

She bums a smoke. 
You're psyched about a few precious minutes alone; she's suffering your company to feed her soul-crushing addiction.

She meets you for drinks wearing sneakers and a ratty old tee. 

This is not an attempt to show you her cute sporty look. She honestly doesn't give a shit whether you find her attractive.

She flirts with you--sometimes. 

If she goes hot and cold, don't kid yourself: she's not playing hard to get; she's just keeping you hanging on in case she can't get anyone she likes better.

She invites you to a boring event, like a play. 

Could Mamma Mia! be so excruciating that no one else would go with her? Bingo.

She seductively eats a banana or ice cream cone in front of you. 

Sorry, guy, but there's just no other way to eat these things.

Yea or nay? Are these all bad signs?

What about you--has a guy ever mistakenly thought you were into him when you weren't? What behavior(s) of yours made him think you were attracted to him?

Speak up, and help us learn. Thank you.

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